The below post was written while walking around the block one of the evenings after the Christchurch shootings, but is also relevant to our modern day mental health, suicide and loneliness challenges.
It is an un-edited reflection on our crazy wee world and lives...
In times like these I doubt
In times like these I'm angry
In times like these I'm sad
In times like these I'm shocked
In times like these I question
How, God? Why, God? Are you there God? Do you even care God?
But this time I realised how far we've tried to separate ourselves, our society and our systems from God and His hopes for us as His loved creation & our relationships with one another.
There is so much love lost between us and our Creator & sustainer... If we have stopped loving our Creator Father who sacrificed His only Son to enable us to know Him and live new lives with Him... then no wonder we have forgotten how to love others.
God loves absolutely, unconditionally, unashamedly and through eternity but today we flinch at the thought of commitment, of anything locked in stone, of anything eternal.
Maybe slowly our hearts, communities and lands have been getting plastered with concrete- hearts of stone- invulnerable, no obligations, no cause to give love unrequited or unconditionally.
Judging before we love; before letting ourselves care.
Becoming set in a mode where we think we are indestructible and wise with no weakness... But we are human!!!
Our weaknesses become the beauties and enable us to connect.
Our stone hearts sure are strong but they feel awkward, stiff, unsure, wary; they begin to hollow out...
...there's something about being a 'tough guy/girl' that is isolated and lonely- plus our heart is a muscle and if we stop stepping out to test it then it must be starting to shrink a little... Reluctantly but steadily hollowing.
Each thing we overlook, each act of love and service we don't give; our heart hardens and sinks.
We let more and more concrete patches set across our heart, fortifying it, "yes I'm stronger now", "I don't care what you think", "everyone can act however they want", "no love lost".
But the heart is what fuels the entire body- we are body and soul and our physical pumps blood to each part of us to give us life... while the 'heart', metaphorical yet so real to us, is the centre of our complete being.
When our loving heart throbs and works, then we are fuelled for life also "for God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline"-2 Timothy 1:7 [the Bible].
Our stone hearts weigh us down instead of lifting us up.
They trick us into thinking we need to save energy and not waste love on those who won't or can't return it.
They are rough and they crack with sharp edges which make us want to shrink back even further.
But God aches for our hearts, persons, relationships, society and land to be healed.
He aches for us to let our hearts love recklessly, to learn the power and joy in sacrificial love, to feel the lifted spirits as the concrete and stone walls suddenly don't fit our heart anymore and so the weight falls off and lead us to dance in unashamed, not-necessarily-Instagrammable moves and passion and company.
He says, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."-Ezekiel 36:26 [the Bible]. He has no limit to the love given.
But I remember that love can't be forced!... I have to choose love. I have to choose to let God love me. I have to choose to let God's overflowing unconditional love for me overflow into the same unconditional love for others.
Vulnerability. Eeek- scary, so scary... But actually I think it's going to be worth it.
Real love. Real life. Real living. Real communities. Real beauty. Real raw power.
Truly love conquers all.
Jesus' love conquered death (the ultimate evil and fear in this world)... There's nothing that can stand against it. Love fights and it wins. Always.
In times like these I pray for our M.I.A love to be found and held on to and shared more freely each day.
For authentic love to be invested and our stone-coated hearts to grow from strength to strength.
Yes love is risky, but it's a risk that is worth it because God backs you on it!
We can try risk a lot of things but if it doesn't line up with God's heart then He's just like erm yep you do that then, good luck and see you on the flip-side- I'll be with you in case you need me...but not backing you on that.
Risk it all to love. Love is worthwhile. It's the thing everyone needs and its the basis of this whole world. Love>Reputation+Possessions+Words
*See my post, "Love and all it leaves behind" for a memo ;) https://surfthesnow13.wixsite.com/the-life-overflow/single-post/2018/03/04/True-Love-and-all-it-leaves-behind
